Bitter Dose of Reality

My friend Chrystal called me this evening, sounding slightly reserved. Her tone worried me slightly. She said that she had been thinking about me. Now if you know my friend, you know that she doesn't just THINK she analyzes, lol, and I love her for it. She always has my best interests at heart.

She says she had discussed my current "male" sabbatical with one of her co-workers. She wondered why certain men "chose" certain women. Is is because they are more superficial? So caught up in themselves that they forget that there is more to a person than meets the eye? I can't be sure of why this is, but I can say that I am very cognizant of this porous and shallow way of thinking. But then again, maybe I too am superficial. Something to think about.

Men and women often times complain that there are no good men or women left. Maybe they are all right, may there are no good men or women left, because we are all fed up. Just a thought.

But that being said I retreat not necessarily with a flag of defeat but a flag of peace, I don't want to feel like I have to fight certain widely accepted stereotypes. So from now on I am not going too. Hence my sabbatical.

It's true and has been made abundantly clear that nice men and women do finish last...now that's a bitter dose of reality.

Disgruntled Single Female

I know I know, here I go again with the single, want to date, but can't find a good man nonsense. Just bear with me as I vent.

So the other day my best friend and I had a relatively interesting conversation, that ultimately ended in us agreeing to disagree and me being even more upset with the male species. In this conversation I was informed more or less that men are innate sluts, and that women need to understand that.

I get the whole idea that men and women are designed differently. Things that are important to women are not necessarily important to men. Apparently men have the desire to touch, feel, and screw anything with a warm orifice. Women are more inclined to look for something on a more emotional level. Blah blah blah. Trust me I get it.

But here is what I don't get. When men finally get what it is that they "think" that they want, they're not satisfied. She can't cook, she doesn't clean, she isn't intelligent, and she is less than refined and I am sure that this list could go on.

My question is this, what in the hell did you expect? Fellas this is where you go wrong. You are the most superficial beings on the planet. You are looking for the aesthetic and you are not even sure if you are allergic to the shrubbery. She has a pretty face, a nice figure, but no substance. When are you going to learn that really and truly looks aren't everything?

I guess I am just frustrated because I feel like often times, ok all the time, I get over looked. No I am not thin by any means, but I do look nice when I go out, I have a fantastic personality, I like to consider myself intelligent, I cook, I clean, I love sports, and the list goes on. I am just tired of people complaining that there are no good women. I am tired of men complaining about the crazy women that they attract. I am really just tired of it all.

"Well where do you go to meet people?" someone asked. I had to explain the places I go I think I am in the midst of like minded people, but still get the same result.

So all that being said I have official given up on men. I am not bitter by any means, I just plain give up. If I could erase them (men) from my very existence I would. Does that mean I like women now? Hell No. I still love men, I am just tired of dealing with them, so from now on I won't.

-Signed Disgruntled Single Female

So We Had a House Warming

I think I often times find it therapeutic to write, otherwise I think I would be a bitter and unhappy person. So where do I begin with this weeks' series of debacles?

We decided to have a house warming/ gathering. It was cool. As usual I stressed myself out, but I had a good time and I think that other people had a good time as well. Toward the end of the evening as things a winding down, there is still so much going on. My best friend is drunk off his a** and I am extremely embarrassed, pissed off and enraged, but we'll come back to this story.

There was something that deflated my spirit and actually hurt my feelings quite a bit. As we all sit engaging in conversation, I hear a ringtone with the "Sweet Mother" tune (if you are Nigerian you know exactly what song I am referring too). So when I hear this song, and express that the song is my "jam", the owner of the ringtone asks me how I knew what the song was. Here begins the my downward spiral. I proceed to inform him of my Nigerian heritage, which is soon followed by a look of shock and disbelief from the guy. This has been happening consistently for the past month and some change. Every time I mention anything that has to do with the only culture that I have ever identified with, I am met with looks of shock and disbelief.

I know you are asking why this is a big deal. Its a big deal because my Nigerian culture is who I am, it is the very fabric of my being, and it is the only thing I know. Now for the one thing that you hold dear to come into question from on a constant basis, its like telling a man he's not a man. It strips me and leaves me with nothing. I am just expressing my annoyance with the whole situation, then with my roommate constantly reiterating the fact that I sound or look a certain way has also be come the bane of my existence.

Outside of the my drunk best friend and my lack of Nigerian-ness according to some, the gathering was a success, I think people over all had a good time and that is all that matters right?

Era of Obama

I have been off the blogging scene for quite awhile, but I just had to comment.

People said that it could not be done, and still others said it would never be done. But Barack Obama and the American people proved all the cynics wrong. I am 27 and never in my 27 years of living have I ever been so moved by a single event.

People truly are upset, and I am not sure why. This election has brought out the worst and the best in people. Who is to blame for such dissension? Is it history, is it the government? Yes their candidate of choice was not chosen, but what truly is the root of your dissatisfaction? I am not sure they are aware of the magnitude of this election and the elected. I can honestly say that it is not about race, gender or the likes of such. Do I completely agree with all of President-Elect Obama's platforms? Of course not, that would not be realistic. But do I think that he has the charisma, and tenacity to heal a broken nation? You bet. This election is about a people ready for something different stepping away from the status-quo and stepping into true change. I am fully cognizant of the fact that this change is not going to happen over night, and in that same respect I am aware that everything that he wants to happen may never come to pass. I will be satisfied if he does half of what he said he would and makes an attempt at the rest. He can not do it alone, but WE CAN do it together.

He said it himself, this election is not about President-Elect Obama, its about us the people. Its about seeing something in others and not just yourself. Its about instilling that hope in future generations, its about fostering greatness, more importantly is it about healing a nation. I have been may things to many people and people have been many things to me, but this election really changes my view of humankind.

We can not ever underestimate the power of hope, the tenacity of unity, and the spirit of true change. The time is now, its not looking back at what was and remaining stagnant in the wounds of the past. Its about healing and cleansing. Looking to the future and remaining steadfast in the pursuance of our nations goals. You may not be my sista, but you are my SISTER, you may not be my brotha, but you are my BROTHER. Now is not that time for selfishness, it is the time for the true communion of faith and belief, of culture and ideals. I am ready for the challenge that this presents. Mediocrity is no longer the fate of our youth, because there is yet another example of success.

We will no longer be a victim of our circumstance, because we are the circumstance that we create. Its time to leave a legacy, and not a memory. Let's re-write history.

-Signed
Leaving a legacy for my children and my children's children for generations to come