I Would Like Nothing More to Disappear

I would like nothing more to disappear

for my fear to go up in flames

and my inadequacies to exist no more

I would like nothing more to disappear

assuming a new identity

getting a fresh start

an living life the way I wrote it initially

I would like nothing more than to disappear

things that should not be going wrong are

worries that I shouldn't have I have

Just when I think things are getting better

they get better for those around me

and I am stuck, struggling, hoping, wishing, wanting

but never having or holding

Sometimes I would like nothing more than to just disappear.

I Really Have to Blog More Often

Soooooooooooo, it has been a few months since I have been on here. I would like to say that a whole lot has changed, but things have a funny way of remaining the same no matter how hard I fight for a little something different. It kind of makes me chuckle.

So my dear blogger, let us get reaquainted

Hello this is Naija Couture (self proclaimed)...lol

January came and went and I was not ready to go back to school. It represented a really lonely place for me. As much as I say my family gets on my nerves I miss them, because I know no matter what, they look past my "emotional tirades" and they get me. They have an interesting way of easing the soul...lol

February came and the nostalgia of loves that once were (not mine) floated in the air like allergy season, only this year I didn't sneeze, and took the time to stop and smell the roses even though they weren't mine, but it was nice to appreciate love, those in love, and those that wish to be. My friend C came in town and we did as we do and had a good time. Other "friends" attended the festivities, others sort of attended the festivites (this was a source of great disappointment - but then again I often times give some people credit that they do not deserve). And just like that February was spent.

Then we recessed into the wonderful month of March. Since being back in school this has become my favorite month next to December. Why you ask? Spring break OF COURSE..LOL
During this month I went to NY to visit some friends, and it reminded me how much I am ready to "leave" Texas (or so I tell myself..lol) Then came spring break, which was wonderful, i did absolutely nothing but laugh and smile with the fam. Again reminded why I love my family so. Sigh...I am kind of missing them now.

Now March has ended and today was the begining of April, but I was no one's fool. It crunch time on the academic calendar and I look foward to pushing myself to the very brink. There is still a lot of work to be done, and I know that I will be the victor in the end, but my goodness just getting motivated at times is a task. But I am optimistic...the future is bright and I thank God for it.