I know the holidays are suppose to be full of joy, family and all of that other crap that is suppose to make you warm inside. But I can honestly say that this has been the holiday from hell. It just seems like nothing has gone as it 'should'. Where the tree should stand is an empty space, engulfed with dust, overcast by a bitter shadow. The dinner that would have been is not, and the family that was is no more. It makes me really sad.
This is not the holiday season that I had envisioned. But I did make one vow to myself that when I had a family of my own, that the holidays would NEVER be like this. I sometimes wonder why I even came home.
I felt really bad. I could not even tell people Merry Christmas, because I knew it would not be genuine. I guess you could say that I have lost sight of what the holidays are really about. Its just hard to see the true meaning when what you see and experience are filtered into your perception of your existence, leaving you with your version of the Bah Humbug complex.
The holidays are really starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth.
