Things are on the Up and UP...

Goodness it has been so long, so many things have happened.

Barack Obama is the democratic bid for the presidency

McCain bless his hear seems to be holding on for dear life....

I for the past few weeks I have been working with NYLF and I LOVE it.

I have found the meaning in life

And so many doors are beginning to open up..

Things are definately on the UP and UP

Stay tuned....

Man its been a LONG time...

Man it is has been a long time since I have been on here. I know not years but it has been long enough..so much has happened, things have changed.....The updates a coming be patient....

Things are never what they seem

I have had a hard lesson in reality and I have come to the conclusion that it sucks. Gone are the times of the cloudy haze and the bold sunshine. Gone are the days for youthful laughter and carefree days. I know too much, more than I would ever wish to have ever known. Now questions of when, where and why surround me. I am actually really disappointed. The pedestal that they stood on wavers and is crumbling...with each page that I read. I knew it was none of my business, but I kept searching and I kept digging. What I was looking for I don't know, but what I found I wish I could give back. My heart is heavy, and my view tainted. Is nothing left in this world sacred?

bitterly defeated in the idea of forever and love. I am not sure it exists, and that makes me sad. I don't want to fall victim to the same fate. So does that mean in order to protect myself from what might be that I continually shield myself a emotional recluse. Its going to take something short of a miracle to free my heart from its Alcatraz.

Our 5th Deltaversary

Though it may seem trivial to some, unfathomable to others, on this day in the year 2003 my prophytes gave birth to a wonderful line of women, for whom I will be eternally grateful. April 22, 2003 was the day that I was officially a member of the greatest organization ever Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated!
It is amazing how time has come and gone. How we have all changed and grown. I love my linesisters with all my heart 15-to-Life. I suppose only a fellow greek could truly understand the bound that we share.

When I think of what the women of Delta went through before me, I am filled with pride. An organization rich in history, and even richer in victory, it makes me that much more determined to make a positive mark on the world. Its with great fortitude that I look forward to the future.

Happy line birthday LSes, your tail loves you mucho!!! Elephant Hugs and Kisses!!

Wearing crimson, standing tall
Fortitude our symbol of strength and perseverance above all
She reaches back for those left behind
While reaching forward toward the future ahead
As we look toward the light to guide our path
The delta women before set a standard, and set the bar high
22 strong they all stood
From Osceola to Edith a true sisterhood
Making a change for the greater good
Determined
Dedicated
As a delta woman should
Never shying away from a cause that others would
I'm proud
Proud to be
A member of the elite
The elite that wears Crimson and Cream
No one will ever tell me different
Through the tides of time
Delta women are women of class, distinction, character and so much more
Chanting a chant that continuously rang
1913 was a year of change
from thence forward the world would never be the same
So forward the women of Delta march
not for fame fortune, or trivial cost
But for the betterment of a people, education held high
I'll represent Delta Sigma Theta ‘til the day I die!

By: Naija Couture

?? My QUESTION MARKed Existence ??

It’s a curved line that ends at a secluded island

It emphatically represents what I now feel

The unknown splashed with a dose of reality

It's Like I am alone

And I have said it before

Its my question mark

The path is followed

And met with a dead end

I reach out to hold my prize on my secluded island

But alas I fail

And I fall

Into the land of the in between

And the not quite

Always reaching

Reaching with all my might

But never getting what I think I deserve

I am left question filled

And slightly perturbed

Was life meant to be this hard

I look up and get angry

“What more do you have for me today” I ask

I rant I rave I slash and burn

The destructive nature of what I feel materialized in the physical

And I am left with disillusion and disarray

Hoping to put back together the pieces

Cause humpty fell off the wall that day

And like him my spirit is in pieces

My glues not strong enough

And when I think it is

Is washable, dilute in strength and perseverance

I don’t know if I can go through something, anything again

I’m tired

I’m worn

Feeling pressure to the point that my vision blurs

Nothing is as it seems

And my present state of being concurs

I run to relieve the stress

But I run on a treadmill and my progress is still

Cause I am running in place

I want to get away

And I want to be free

But something or someone refuses to let me be

What is holding me back

And knocking me down

What is covering me in ashes

As my storm surrounds

Me

I can’t see

I can’t feel

The only thing I feel is disappointment

The only thing I see is dark

My heart is heavy

And my spirit sparse.

Skiing is NOOOOO Joke

So I went skiing...that's right folks SKIING

my black skin, against the blinding whiteness of snow.
I tried to go but fear crippled me and I punked-out on the bunny slopes..lol

I flew to D.C. on Valentine's Day, it seems as though D.C. has become my new home away from home and my temporary escape from reality. We went to the Twinz Jazz Cafe. The music was cool..the establishment cozy, but the food though left much to be desired. Afterwards we hit up a club, it was cramped and definitely not up to any of our standards, but it was something to do and it was ....FREE..lol

The next day we would embark upon our skiing endeavor. We were traveling to Reading, Pennsylvania. This trip was going to be interesting. We were staying in the Sheraton, that looked like a re-vamped Days Inn, yea it was an absolute mess.

The bus ride was cool, being that I was out of my own domain, I spoke with the people I knew, listened to music, and slept. The bus ride lasted about 3 hours. As usual I had OVER packed. If you know me packing has never been something that I mastered. But never the less we arrived and did so safely, so I was thankful for that.

The trip was booked through a company that shall remain name-less for fear of copy right infringement, defamation of character, and just the shear shame of association...lol. The Group that we traveled with appropriately named the trip "Black Ice 2008". Upon arrival there was a sort of meet and greet with an open bar and "other" refreshments.

The 'other' refreshments included and were limited too: donuts: glazed, chocolate glazed, white glazed, and fruit filled. Tomato soup, your choice of crackers and/or bread, and a cup of ice cold water. Hmm yum....

We walked in and to our surprise we were greeted with the stench of stale carpeting & bengay, and what appeared to be a family reunion. Obliviously the people that we booked the trip through neglected to say that age range of its guest would be so wide. Ages 4 - 100...this was going to be very interesting. On the agenda for the evening, were the meet and greet, an adults only entertainment option and a Pajama After Party.

Before we 'partied' we picked up our registration materials at the front

Where do I begin? The meet and greet = WACK. The Adult only entertainment option = DISGUSTINGLY TACKY to the point that myself and my friend C just had to leave. Last but not least the faux "Pajama Jam", where people felt the need to wear nighties and silk pjs and furry house shoes. Hilarious.

We stayed just long enough for them to play Beyonce's 'Get Me Bodied", which seems to have become the national female song of unity...lol.

The next day we collected our ski's (yes we had to carry them OURSELVES, TO the ski lodge....GREAT..*insert disgruntled smiley here*). At breakfast we were met with scone inspired pancakes (that translates into dry and crumbly), "scrambled eggs", bacon, sausage, grits, and cereal. Oh and please let me not forget the orange juice (from concentrate) that was 10% juice and 90% water...uh yea nasty.

At the ski resort we were all riddled with anticipation. The snow was well white and deceptively inviting. Some how some way, I decided to allow my friends to talk me into NOT taking ski lessons, absolutely the WORST decision ever. A little tidbit about me, I am accident prone ( i just play it off well), afraid of heights, and afraid of falling, HARD. So being adventurous, I wrapped myself up, put on my ski's and tried my damnedest not to fall.

So as we approached the bunny slope, my friends just jumped into it. I was hesitant. I was barely standing still on my ski's and you want me to go DOWN a slope. I took one look and new that if I wanted to live that I should probably sit this one out. I moved to the side and tried to maneuver myself through this skiing endeavor. Skiing folks is NO joke. I was on flat land and still wasn't able to grasp the fundamentals, and I was an athlete for goodness sake. Ha ha ha. I suppose the operative phrase here is USE TO BE, lol. As the children swooped past startling me, I realized that I should probably call it quits. I know I know, I so PUNKED out *insert sad face here*

It wasn't long before C and Co. returned asking me where I had been. I explained to them my skiing failure they laughed, I shrugged my shoulders, and we all decided to go SNOW TUBING.

I have come to the realization that I am a scary person at times. (Ok I already new this but now I am letting you know.) We arrive at the snowtubing area and I am not quite sure it is something that I want to do, but being that previously I opted out of an activity, I thought it would be in my best interest to participate. So I did. we walked around and up a mountain to the snow tubing line where we collected our family tube and we went plunging. I screamed as I saw my life flash before my eyes, I think I even shed a tear. For some reason I just can't stand that feeling of your stomach being in your throat, its just disturbing. After my fit and the realization that I was still alive, I realized that it wasn't all that bad. I'd do it again, but the line was long and it was time to go.

So my first ski experience was over. It was bitter sweet. Would I do it again. Heck yea.

Later on that evening we had 'dinner' which was the dining highlight of the whole trip since everything else left much to be desired and got ready for the 'evening' events.

Michael Blackston and Avant were performers for the evening. It was cool. Blackston did pretty much the same ish as always, so I was bored for a bit. Then Avant followed, asking people not to record videos or take pictures, do you think he got is wish?..lol

Avant kind of put me in a "I want a boo" mood, blah. Music is my muse and will ultimately be my demise. I got over it eventually. So that was the end of the trip just about, we partied (kind of), we hung out, and more importantly we got away. Lord knows you just need to get away sometimes, even if it is rom a hint of shady organization.

-Awaiting the next trip.....definitely somewhere warm...I can't wait!

Valentine's Day 2008

Valentine's day 2008. This is a day that I have distinctly made a point of disregarding in my life time. I suppose for the longest time, I associated Valentine's Day with certain things that made me resent it, you know stuff like, relationships, love, boys and anything that might make you go AWWWW. I didn't get a card or candy from a boy I liked so to me the day was a waste.

This year I received texts, and valentines from friends, primarily female. I went to a Jazz cafe in D.C. with my friends. But it was all still bitter sweet. I reminisced on Valentine's of old, as the jazz band played in the background, sultry sounds mixed with the up tempo beat of a drum, caressed with the underlying subtlety of the plucked strings of a bass. All the band members including the singer closed their eyes as they played...I closed mine too...I never really had a valentine, but I'd always wanted one. And to be honest I can't really remember any of the previous February 14th's except for one. I suppose I was especially miserable this day. I sat in the dark, and I didn't want to be bothered. I was sad. It was another February 14th and feel like in the relationship realm I had failed. Yes you have your friends that send you cute cards, you plan to do things to get your mind off of THIS day, but we had done all, and I sat, alone.

My phone rang and I picked it up. I had something at the Student Union Building. I wasn't really interested in leaving where I was, but I did. I was curious...I had something...hmm. I scurried over to see what it was. It was a single red carnation, with a ribbon and a message attached. If was from a person that at that time I was quite found of. He had taken the time to send ME a carnation with a message

"All Men Aren't Dogs"

I smiled a little. I knew that I could be really hard on the male species, but I think I was a victim of seeing too much before I had experienced it. And from what I had seen, I definitely could do with out actually going through such things myself. I said I smiled a little. I lied, I smiled, a lot. This had, kind of in a sick and debilitating way, warmed my heart and made me smile and made me actually believe that in that one instant that he was right, all men aren't dogs.

That was a valentine's day that I would never forget, other things happened that day but I'd rather focus on the good that come of that. There are a few things in my lifetime that I regret, but being a person that loves too hard at times is not one of those things. I can't help that I fall emotionally sometimes, but I know that, the emotion that I share with a few is genuine its real and should not be taken for granted. Valentines day is a day of love, respect and adoration, its a day were you realize that even with the bad that comes in relationships and friendships that just in that instant to feel the emotion of love is a blessing. I've loved (at least I think) and I have hurt (this I know for a fact), but I won't regret.

Happy Valentine's Day!